Tales of JMF Vol. 1-5

[Spuffy]

Here ya go! The old classic Tales of JMF. I wrote them a loooong time ago, back when CoA was the old and wonderful way. If you went to CoA you may pick up on the special inside jokes, if not you'll just think it's odd. So, in the next post I shall begin the Tales of JMF!

(c) Spuffy

[Spuffy]

Tales of JMF Vol. 1

JMF round the corner of the building. Spike was at her side, as always.

Spike: Ready?

JMF looked over at him.

JMF: What do you bloody well think?

Spike: Fine then. Let’s get him.

The two of them ran farther down the street. They stopped as they came to an abandoned building and JMF kicked open the door.

Spike: Well, that’s one way of getting in.

She ignored his comment and the slayer and the vampire entered the building. They ran up two flights of stairs before stopping.

Spike: I don’t think he’s here luv.

JMF: He has to be. We have to get rid of him! He is the reason for everything bangel in this world!

Spike: Believe me. I hate it too, but he’s not he...

He was cut off by a door opening down the hallway.

Angel: Looking for me?

JMF spun around to see the other vampire.

JMF: You.

Angel: Me.

Spike: And me. Now that we’ve gotten that straigtened out, can we please get the show on the road.

Angel turned his attention to the other vampire.

Angel: Shut up Spike. This is between me and the girl.

JMF: The girl? The GIRL! I’m not just a girl. I’m the slayer. And I’m gonna kick your bangel butt.

Angel: You wish.

JMF: Wrong. I know.

The slayer kicked Angel, causing him to fly backwards into a wall. Once he regained his composure, she kicked him once again making him break through the wall and land in the next room.

Spike: You get ‘em slayer.

JMF: Oh I will. I will.

Angel stood up and dusted himself off. He morphed into vamp face and watched JMF as she walked into the room through the hole in the wall.

Angel: That wasn’t too nice of you.

JMF: And being born wasn’t too nice of you.

The two of them began to circle each other. As they did so, JMF picked up a piece off wood from the wall remains. She held it up, ready to stake Angel as soon as possible.
Spike entered the room and watched the two.

Spike: When are you gonna stop dancing and fight?

Angel looked at JMF.

Angel: All we ever do is dance.

JMF: Oh, like I’d ever wanna do more!

Angel charged at the slayer. But being as intelligent as she was, JMF moved quickly out of the way and the vampire ran straight into the wall.

Spike: Take that peaches!

JMF: If you wanna help at any time, just tell me. No wait, I wanna kick his shiny vampire butt. Then we can stop for some placentas and bagels on the way home. What do ya think?

Spike: Sounds like plan. Get on with the fight then.

Angel stood up finally, at the other side of the room.

Angel: Now don’t go making plans. You two don’t even know if you’ll be alive later. Actually, you won’t be alive later.

JMF: Yeah, that’s a threat I’m bound to believe.

JMF watched Angel make his way over to her. She looked back to Spike who was still watching them. She turned back to Angel and punched him right in the nose.

Angel growled and kicked the slayer back against one of the walls in the room.

Angel: Why do you insist on hurting me? It just makes me angry. And trust me, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

JMF: I’d like to test that theory.

JMF dropped the piece of wood she had picked up ealier and grabbed a two-by-four that was lying there.

Angel: Okay, Let’s play fair now.

Angel saw the new weapon and began to step backwards.

JMF: Well, you know what they say. Payback’s a bitca.

The slayer stood up and swung the two-by-four at the vamp. He blocked about one hit, and took six. Next thing she new, he was lying on the ground, bruised and bloodied.

Spike: Now that’s what I’m talking about.

As she heard Spike she looked at him and smiled.

JMF: Exactly.

She turned back to Angel.

JMF: Time for your wake up call, or should I say dust call?

Spike: Dust call? I’m sure you could come up with something better than that.

JMF: Oh, shut it.

Angel welcomed this conversation for it gave him time to crawl farther away from the slayer. Apparently he should have been quieter for JMF heard him.

JMF: What are you? A bug? Well, technically you’re a pest so...

She walked towards the wounded vampire and he crawled back into a corner.

Spike: How sweet. Tall dark and forehead is scared!

JMF: As he should be.

The slayer lifted the two-by-four and brought it down to impale the vampire. He lifted he hand and grabbed the wood. He pulled it away from her and threw it.

Angel: Who’s the pest now?

JMF: You. Still.

Angel tried to stand up but fell back to the ground when JMF spin-kicked him right in the legs.

JMF: You really should sit down for this.

She looked around but all of the wood from the broken wall was on the other side of the room.

JMF: Spike, give me something. NOW!

Spike: Right. Need to stake the vamp. Got it.

Spike looked around for a second and instead of grabbing the obvious chunk of wood, he pulled a pencil out from his pocket.

Spike: This should do the trick luv.

JMF caught the pencil and looked at it after the vampire threw it to her.

JMF: A pencil? A PENCIL??

Spike: Sorry pet. It’s all I had.

JMF: What about the wood lying right next to you! Oh, forget it.

She turned back to Angel who was still on the floor.

JMF: Scree!!!!!!!!

The battle call echoed through the building at the slayer brought the pencil down to the vampires chest.

Angel: Nooo....

The vampire was cut off as he burst into the all too familiar dust.

JMF: Whew. He’s gone. I feel better now.

Spike: You should feel better. No more bangel in the world.

JMF: Damn straight!

Spike: Come on. Let’s go get those placentas. Maybe we’ll see bunny at the diner.

JMF: She’ll probably be with kurt. You know those two have a little something something going on.

Spike: Yeah, I’ve noticed that a bit.

JMF: It’s kind of hard not to notice. Have you been to CoA?

Spike: No actually. I’ll have to stop by some time.

JMF: You better. There are way to many Spike haters there. I have to fight them off with a stick!

Spike: No worries luv. I’ll be there. Now, come on. Let’s be on our way.

The two of them made their way downstairs. As they were walking out the door JMF stopped.

Spike: What is it?

JMF looked at the building for a second then turned back to Spike.

JMF: Oh nothing. I was just wondering how stephie will feel about all of this.

Without a word the two of them locked eyes, then began to laugh.

[Spuffy]

Tales of JMF Vol. 2

JMF: Could someone explain exactly why people hate it so?

Willow: Hate what?

JMF gave Willow a look.

JMF: What have I been talking about for the last half hour!

Willow: Oh! Spuffy... I don’t know why they hate it.

JMF: You’re a lot of help.

The slayer stood up from her seat as the bell rang. She waved at Willow, then left the school and headed home.

Once she arrived home she ran straight up to her room and changed her clothes, into something that would be more suited to patrol in later.

She walked down stairs and smiled as her mother greeted.

Joyce: Hello honey. Good day at school? You ran upstairs pretty fast.

JMF: Oh just peachy.

Joyce: Is that good?

JMF: Sure. Probably.

Joyce: Well, okay then. Are you ready for supper?

JMF: Enough with the questions woman! I.. uh... mean, yeah.

JMF and her mother ate dinner then, once they finished Joyce headed to bed and JMF did the same. Or so her mother thought...

She locked her bedroom door then grabbed one of her stakes she had hidden, and climbed out the window. Once she got to the ground she smirked.

JMF: So easy to fool her.

Spike: You’ve got that right pet.

JMF spun around to see Spike standing by the tree in her yard.

JMF: Don't sneak up on me. For a minute I thought it was something dangerous.

Spike: I am dangerous luv. You just haven’t seen it yet.

Spike smirked at her and the slayer rolled her eyes.

JMF: Sure Spike. Suuuure.

Spike rolled his eyes.

Spike: How about we get a move on then huh?

JMF: Fine.

A little later the two of them arrived at the cemetery. They walked through the gate and almost as soon as they entered, a vampire jumped out, tackling Spike.

Spike: Hey! That wasn’t a good thing to do.

He morphed into vamp face and threw the vampire off of him.

Spike: Told ya.

JMF: Aren’t you just special.

Spike: I am. Now go stake the vamp. Do your slayer thing. I’ll stay here and watch.

JMF: What you don’t wanna help?

Spike: So much more fun to watch.

JMF: As always...

She spoke under her breath as she walked to the vampire, who was now lying dazed on the ground. It appeared he had hit his head on a tombstone when Spike threw him.

Vampire: Please don’t! I promise... I’ll... I’ll be good!

JMF: Yeah, right. Sorry but you are the weakest link. Good bye.

With that she took her stake and impaled the vampire through the heart. Soon he was dust.

buffyfan: Good job. I thought you weren’t supposed to kill your own kind? Don’t they get mad about that?


A girl, the same age as JMF, walked out from behind a tree.

JMF: Who are you and what are you talking about?

buffyfan: I am buffyfan, the vampire slayer, and you are?

JMF: That’s funny because I’m the slayer, you seem to just be a liar.

Spike: Yeah. She is the slayer so you might wanna leave before she gets mad.

buffyfan: Like I’m gonna believe you. A vampire. You’re still in vamp face doofus.

Spike: I am not a doofus.

As he said that he morphed back into regular face.

Spike: I am very much NOT a doofus. I’ll have you know...

JMF: Enough! She was talking to me.

Spike: Right then.

JMF turned her attention back to the supposed ‘slayer’

JMF: You should really save that ‘I’m the slayer’ crap for someone who isn’t the slayer. Just an observation.

buffyfan: You can’t be the slayer, because I am! I was called a year ago when the last slayer died. Plus, if you were the slayer, why would you be working with a low-life vampire?

Spike: With a soul! I have a soul.

JMF/buffyfan: Shut up!

Spike: Great, now there’s two of them.

JMF: Obviously there was a mistake. I am the slayer and I’m not dead.

buffyfan: There can’t be a mistake.

Spike: She’s right... there can’t be a mistake. She is the slayer...

JMF looked over to the vampire.

JMF: What?! I am the slayer! You know that.

Spike: But you did die, remember? Okay so it wasn’t that long but, you did die.

JMF thought for a moment and remembered that night, a year ago. She had been fighting the Master. He had escaped from his sunken church and she had began to go after him, but she tripped on her shoe string and fell face first into a pool of water. She had drowned that day, and Spike and Xander showed up to save her. Xander gave her CPR then she was alive, and she went after the Master, eventually defeating him.

JMF: So you mean, I was dead for what, one minute, and they called another slayer? How rude.

buffyfan: So you really are a slayer. Sorry for the...

JMF: The meanness? The rudeness? Oh, you’re forgiven... maybe...

Spike: Things are gonna get real interesting with two slayer around now.

buffyfan: No dip. Did you just figure that out?

JMF: Really, did you?

Spike: What is this? Be mean to Spike night?

The two slayers looked at each other and nodded before turning to look at Spike.

JMF/buffyfan: Yeah.

Spike looked somewhat shocked.

Spike: Fine then. I’ll be going.

JMF: You do that.

The vampire left and the two slayers laughed.

buffyfan: That was evil.

JMF: It was indeed.

buffyfan: So fun though.

JMF: I know.

After a few seconds of silence JMF spoke up.

JMF: We should probably tell my watcher about this.
buffyfan: Yeah, we probably should.

JMF: How would you know?

buffyfan: I had a watcher, he liked to know stuff, therefore, I had to tell him stuff.

JMF: Sounds... interesting.

buffyfan: Stuff about vampires and demons.

JMF: I know. What did you mean you had a watcher?

buffyfan: He died. Got killed by a rabbit or something. It was kind of strange.

JMF: A rabbit?

She began to laugh then quickly tried to stop as she looked the other slayer.

JMF: Sorry, just found it funny.

buffyfan: I bet.

The two of them continued talking and patrolled the cemetery. They decided they would wait until tomorrow to tell Giles about there being a second slayer. Soon they got bored there and headed into town. They walked down the streets and ended up at the old warehouse.

JMF: I hear there is like a whole vampire nest here. Should prove to be fun.

buffyfan: Indeed.

JMF: That’s my word!

buffyfan: Sorry. Indeedishingly.

JMF: Don’t make up words!

buffyfan smirked.

buffyfan: Okie doke.

JMF: Ugh!

buffyfan laughed and followed JMF into the warehouse.

buffyfan: So where are these vampires you were talking about?

She asked after looking around the building for a couple minutes.

JMF: They’re apparently not here. Duh.

buffyfan: I can see that.

JMF: Can you? Wow.

buffyfan: Indeedishingly.

Since it seemed to be a bust, the two slayers turned to leave. As they did so, there was a noise behind them. They turned around and saw Angelus standing there.

Angelus: Well, well, well, what do we have here? The slayer and what? Her new best friend? How sweet.

JMF: Shut it Angelus. You already know what happened to your brother.

buffyfan: This is Angelus? THE Angelus?

Angelus: The one and only.

JMF: The one and annoying.

Angelus: Ouch.

Angelus walked closer to the two girls. He smirked as he looked at them.

Angelus: I think I like this new girl. She seemed impressed by me. Always a good sign.

JMF/buffyfan: EW!

buffyfan: You may like me, but I SOOO do not like you.

Angelus: Who are you anyway?

buffyfan: None of your business.

Angelus grabbed buffyfan by the neck and slammed her against the wall.

Angelus: I asked you nicely. Who are you?

JMF tapped on Angelus’ shoulder.

JMF: It’s your lucky day Angelus. Two slayers.
She punched him in the jaw before he even knew what was going on.

buffyfan: No waiting.

The second slayer kicked him, making him fly across the room.

JMF: We work well together.

buffyfan: We do don’t we?

Angelus stood up and he was not happy.

Angelus: Now I was not expecting that.

He morphed into vamp face and grabbed a pipe he found on the ground.

Angelus: Now this should be wonderful.

The two slayers got into defensive positions and awaited the attack by Angelus.

JMF: If you hit me with that pipe, I swear you’ll die slowly and painfully.

Angelus: Is that a threat?

buffyfan: Actually, I think she was making a promise.

He charged at the slayers, pipe in hand and they jumped out of the way.

buffyfan: What? Are we too quick for Angelus?

JMF: No, I think we’re too intelligent.

buffyfan looked at the other slayer and nodded.

buffyfan: Gotta agree there.

Angelus growled and swung his pipe, knocking down both slayers.

Angelus: Taught you didn’t I?

He made his way over to JMF and lifted her up by the neck.

JMF: Excuse me, but that hurts.

Angelus: Supposed to.

JMF: I know that. I’m not as stupid as you are.

Angelus: Okay, that’s it.

Angelus leaned down to bite the slayer but was interrupted by the other one.

buffyfan: I can’t let you do that.

Angelus: Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to interrupt two people when they are having a moment?

JMF: Puh-lease!

Angelus swung his arm and hit buffyfan, knocking her backwards. Then he started where he left off.

Angelus: Now where were we?

JMF: Too close for comfort.

The vampire had almost bit down, when he heard a voice behind him.

Spike: Never kiss on the first date.

Before Angelus could turn around, the other vampire had staked him in the back. Spike smiled at JMF.

Spike: See? I can help out when I want to.

JMF: Took you long enough!

Spike: I was busy.

JMF: As I said earlier, suuure.

On the other side of the room, buffyfan stood up. She then walked over to the other two.

buffyfan: How about we go now? We can go see your watcher tonight, since, well, I don’ t feel like doing too much more tonight.

JMF: Sure. We can do that. It’s not like it matters to me.

Spike: Alright then. Let’s be on our way.

buffyfan: Wait! I have an idea of where to go, before we go see your watcher.

JMF: Oh and where is that second slayer?

buffyfan: I heard about this new store by the theater, where they sell nothing but Spuffy merchandise.

Spike: Spuffy merchandise? You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s... that’s great!

JMF: Wowsa! I didn’t even think there was merchandise let alone a whole store of it! I hope I have money...

buffyfan: Don’t worry. If you don’t, I’ll pay.

JMF: I don’t have money then. Shoot.

Spike: Yeah, I don’t have any money either.

buffyfan: Good thing I brought my credit card.

[Spuffy]

Tales of JMF Vol. 3

Cemetery

Hooded figure: Release him! Give to him the solid form he once had! Oh, and leather pants... Release him I say!

The ground began to rumble as the figure finished the spell. Suddenly a bright light shown from the sky and a figure fell to the ground. The hooded figure walked over to the new man who had fallen and smiled.

Hooded figure: You’re back. I knew the spell would work. Nice pants by the way.

The hooded figure grabbed the mans hand and helped him stand up.

Hooded figure: Welcome back, Angel.

The man turns around and reveals him self to be Angel. A grin spreads across his face.

Angel: That’s right baby. I’m back, and I’m really ticked off.

Angel pulled the hooded figure towards him then pulled down their hood, revealing a young woman.

Angel: stephie, things are gonna get a whole lot better around here.

______________

The Bronze

JMF: Oh come on! That band was horrible!

buffyfan: Personally, I think they were good.

Willow: Yeah, I... I think they were good.

JMF: Et tu Willow?

Willow just nodded then smiled as she saw Oz.

Willow: I’m gonna go. Cya!

buffyfan smiled.

buffyfan: I think I win.
JMF: You so do not!

They listened to about three more songs by the band before the two slayers decided to leave. As they were walking out of the door of the Bronze, JMF paused.

buffyfan: What is it?

JMF: My Angel-has-just-been-resurrected sense is tingling.

buffyfan: What could this mean?

JMF just looked over at the other slayer.

JMF: Oh, I don’t know... Maybe, and this is just a shot in the dark, Angel has been resurrected!

buffyfan gently slapped herself on the forehead.

buffyfan: Okay. Um.. Perhaps we should do something about it.

JMF arched an eyebrow.

JMF: Duh!

The two slayers left the club and headed down the street.

buffyfan: Where do you think he is? And who do you think brought him back?

JMF: If I knew that, it would not have happened.

Spike: I’m sure it wouldn’t have pet.

JMF and buffyfan turned around to see Spike.

buffyfan: Do you always have to do that?

Spike tilted his head a little.

Spike: Yes. It’s fun.

JMF: Do you know anything about Angel coming back?

Spike: Well I heard about it from a couple guys back at Willy’s place. I have a pretty good idea who did it too.

JMF looked over to buffyfan and the slayers turned back to Spike at the same time.

JMF/buffyfan: Who?!

Spike smirked at the too.

Spike: Let’s not get hasty now.

JMF grabbed Spike by the shirt collar and pulled out her stake.

JMF: If you don’t tell me who brought back that Bangel boy, it’s gonna be dustpan time baby!

Spike: Alright then! Some girl named... stephie. I think that’s what they said.

JMF: stephie.

She almost growled the name.

buffyfan: JMF? Do you know this stephie person?

JMF slowly nodded.

JMF: I do indeedy.

The slayer thought back to when she met stephie. They had met at CoA and she remembered how fond she was of Angel. JMF shuddered slightly at the thought. stephie had foiled all of her plots against Angel, except for that final one when she dusted the poof. Now, she brought him back.

JMF released Spike and turned around, heading where she knew stephie would most likely be.

buffyfan: Where are you going?

The second slayer caught up to the first one, and walked along with her.

Spike: Wait up luv.

The vampire soon followed the other two and they walked off into the night.
_______________________

CoA - The Hyperion

The door to the building was closed so the two slayers, stepped back and kicked the door open.

Spike: That was good.

JMF/buffyfan: Thanks.

The three of them entered the building and looked around.

Spike: They’re here. I smell them.

JMF: What is it with vampires and smelling people? No offense.

Spike: None taken. I guess it’s just a habit. Does come in handy sometimes though.

buffyfan: I bet.

buffyfan rolled her eyes and looked over as she saw a door to a room suddenly closed.

buffyfan: We’re not alone.

Spike: I think I just stated that.

JMF: He’s kinda got you there.

buffyfan ignored their comments and soon the three of them were heading towards the door. They slowly walked in and as they did, the door shut behind them.

buffyfan: I didn’t do it.

Spike: Me either.

JMF: I figured that.

stephie: And I figured you wouldn’t get hit by me.

stephie punched the slayer in the face.

stephie: I must have been wrong.

JMF fell to the floor. She looked up at the girl that had punched her.

JMF: OH NO YOU DIDN’T!

stephie: Oh, I think I did.

buffyfan spun and kicked the stephie in the back, causing her to fly foward. Luckily JMF rolled out of the way before stephie fell on her.

buffyfan: And I just did that.

Just then buffyfan was grabbed and pulled backwards by a man.

Angel: Now is that anyway to treat my girl?

buffyfan: Yes. It is.

The slayer stomped down hard on the vampires foot. Then she grabbed Angel’s arm and flipped him over.

The vampire hit the wall and landed next to stephie.

Spike: Don’t they just make a darling couple?

JMF: Oh, just wonderful.

The two of them walked over to the couple lying on the floor. Angel and stephie began to crawl backwards. As JMF and Spike leaned down to pick them up, they spun at the same time and kicked the other two’s legs, knocking them to the floor.

JMF: That was just wrong.

Angel: It was, was it? Seemed right to me.

stephie: Seemed right to me too.

The two of them stood up and each of them kicked the other two that were on the floor.

Spike: Bloody hell!

Angel: Who’s the big bad vampire now?

Angel asked Spike this as he kicked him in the gut.

Spike: Apparently not you. I mean, if you have to get me knocked down to kick me, then well, you aren’t that bad.

Spike grabbed the other vampires leg and pulled him onto the floor.

stephie kicked JMF and smiled down at her.

stephie: This for killing my Angel!

JMF: Puh-lease!

JMF jumped up. stephie stepped backwards surprised.

JMF: First of all, Angel is already dead. Second of all, you call THAT a kick??
buffyfan: I’ve seen better kicks from a pile of dust. Literally.

buffyfan kicked stephie from behind and she fell to the ground once again.

As JMF stepped over to finish stephie off, she was tackled by Angel.

Angel: Don’t you touch her!

JMF: Fine! I’ll just touch you...

JMF winced as the words came out.

JMF: That SO did not come out right.

Angel pinned JMF to the ground.

Angel: I’m gonna finish you once and for all.

JMF: I bet.

She struggled with him for a moment before she found a piece of wood lying conveniently on the floor next to her.

JMF: That’s helpful.

The slayer grabbed the wood and impaled Angel with it through the back.

JMF: Scree!

She called out before the vampire turned to dust. Coughing was about the only thing the slayer could do for a moment. Once she stood up she spoke.

JMF: I hope I don’t get possessed by the hair-gel boy.

She looked across the room and saw Spike and buffyfan holding stephie against the wall. She made her way over to them and smiled.

JMF: You boy’s gone. Now for the big finale.

stephie: I think... not.

The three looked at her strangely as she began to say something in a weird language. Then before they knew what happened, all three of them were thrown backwards.

stephie: See ya later! I will be back!
As she said that, she ran out of CoA and left the other three there.

buffyfan was the first to speak.

buffyfan: On the bright side, Angel’s dead.

Spike: That is a very bright side.

JMF: Indeed. But she will be back, and that means Angel may be back.

Spike: That side’s not so bright.

buffyfan: At least its over for now.

Spike: Yeah, let’s go luv.

JMF: Okay, but can we stop at the store on the way home? I could really go for some hair gel about now.

buffyfan and Spike looked at the slayer then looked at each other.

Spike/buffyfan: This can’t be good.

[Spuffy]

Tales of JMF Vol. 4

JMF: No!

Spike: Please. Just this once.

JMF: I said no! This is for me to do myself.

Spike: Bugger.

JMF turns back to the person she had been fighting for the last half hour, stephie.

stephie: Why not let the poor vamp hit me at least once. I mean, he could teach you quite a few things about....

The girl was cut off by a quick uppercut to the jaw by JMF.

JMF: Would you shut up.

Spike: I could have done that.

He said to himself. As the slayer turned back and glared at him he walked off and found a gravestone to sit on.

stephie: You shouldn’t have done that.

JMF: Really? Should I have done this instead?

She spun and kicked the other girl in the stomach knocking her to the ground.

stephie: You are in big, big trouble now missy.

stephie stood up and began reciting a spell. Before she could finish something from behind her knocked her to the ground.

buffyfan: I don’t think so.

The second slayer smiled and looked over at JMF.

buffyfan: How long have you two been at it?

JMF: Around a half hour now.

buffyfan: That girl just doesn’t give up does she?

JMF: Nope. She’s even tried to bring back Angel about five times already. Luckily I’ve stopped her.

buffyfan: She tried to bring back Angel right in front of you?

JMF: She’s not too bright apparently.

buffyfan: Apparently.

Spike walked over to the two slayers and pointed over to where stephie used to be.

Spike: While you two were being chatty our guest of honor left us.

JMF and buffyfan quickly looked over to see that stephie was gone.

buffyfan: Dang.

JMF: My thoughts exactly.

Spike: Since she’s gone we’re done here. I say we go stop by Clem’s place and see if there’s a game of poker going on.

JMF: Kitty poker?

The slayer raised an eyebrow.

Spike: No... well... yes actually. You’d probably like it if you gave it a chance.

JMF: Uh huh.

JMF looked over to the other slayer.

JMF: How about we continue patrolling and leave Spike to his kitty poker

buffyfan nodded.

buffyfan: Sounds like a plan.

Spike: Fine then. Don’t come. You two would be bad luck anyway. Probably lose all of my kitties.

JMF: Sure.

With that the two slayers turned around and headed farther into the cemetery and Spike went the opposite direction towards Clem’s place. Hopefully the slayers could find stephie before she brought Angel back, again. If not, they’d have to kill him all over again. And that was getting a bit tiresome.
_________________________________________

stephie walked into the abandoned building and looked outside quickly before shutting the door.

stephie: Good. The slayers and that stupid vamp didn’t follow.

She walked up a few stairs and said a spell. A door appeared out of nowhere, on the wall in front of her. Again she looked around to make sure she was alone, and entered the room.

Once inside she spoke again and the door disappeared.

stephie: Now, to bring back Angel.
_________________________________________

JMF: I hope she doesn’t try to bring back hair-gel boy again. That reminds me, I’m so glad I got over my recent hair-gel addiction. Must have been the Angel dust I inhaled after the last time I dusted him.

buffyfan: That was crazy. How much money did you spend on hair-gel again?

JMF: £500.

buffyfan: Wow.

JMF: Indeed.

After walking around for about ten more minutes, buffyfan spoke again.

buffyfan: There’s nothing here. I say we go into town. Check out some alleys, possibly check out the demon bar to see if anyone there knows anything.

JMF: I’ll go with that.

The two slayers walked to the front gate of the cemetery and left. They soon came into town and walked down the sidewalk in front of a row of old stores.

buffyfan: No wonder these places have like no costumers. The Shrivel Shack, Foody Food Boy, and Nightmare Haircuts, okay.

JMF: Those do seem like rather... interesting names.

buffyfan: I would so not get my hair cut at that place.

JMF: Me either.

Just as the two of them were getting ready to turn down the next street, they noticed a light in the window of a building across the street. Then they noticed a very familiar person standing in front of the window. stephie.

JMF: Great. Just great. That light probably means Angel’s back.

buffyfan: Let’s get her then!

JMF and buffyfan ran across the street and into the building. They ran upstairs but as they did, they could find no door which led to where stephie was. buffyfan leaned her head against the wall and could here stephie speaking inside.

buffyfan: She’s in there.

JMF: There’s no door there.

buffyfan: We’ll just have to make one.

Both of the slayers stepped backwards until they were on the other side of the hall, then ran foward. They jumped and kicked the wall full force. They kicked it so hard they broke the wall and soon fell through. They landed on the floor on the other side.

buffyfan: Remind me to never do that again.

She spoke, holding her back as she stood up. She cracked her back then looked over to the other slayer as she stood up.

JMF: Don’t do that ever again.

buffyfan: Thanks.

stephie: No! You can’t be here! I will not allow you to stop me again!

JMF: So that means you haven’t completed the spell yet.

stephie: No, but I’m about to.

She opened her mouth to say the final word of the spell, just as JMF charged at her. She knocked stephie to the ground before she could finish anything.

Once this happened, buffyfan walked over to an alter stephie had set up, and found, what looked like a glass ball.

buffyfan: I’m guessing you need this to bring back Angel.

As she said this she picked it up and threw it to the ground, shattering it.

stephie: Noooooo!

JMF: That settles it. Game over girly.

The slayer picked stephie up by the neck and slammed her into the wall. She pulled out her stake, even though she knew stephie wasn’t a vampire, and held it up.

stephie: You think you can get me? Think again.

As she said this she spoke and JMF went flying backwards into buffyfan, knocking them both to the floor.

stephie: See ya.

She ran through the whole in the wall and downstairs, quickly leaving the building.

JMF: I hate it when she does that.

buffyfan: Me too.

The two slayers stood up then ran out of the building themselves. They got outside and chose the direction they thought she had gone in and began the chase.

buffyfan: We’ll never find her.

JMF: Yes we will. We just have too...

All of the sudden both slayers were grabbed from behind and pulled into an alley. The figure covered their mouths as he held the two against the wall.

Figure: Shh.

They heard him say this before he let go of them. He then walked out to the street and looked around before coming back to them. JMF and buffyfan noticed whoever it was, was wearing a cloak,

JMF: Who are you?

Figure: Are you sure you want to know?

The voice was mans and it sounded very, very familiar.

buffyfan: She’s sure. And so am I.

Figure: Fine.

He turned away from them and pulled down the cloak

JMF noticed the outline of the mans head from behind.

JMF: It can’t be.

Figure: It is.

He turned around revealing himself to be Angel.

buffyfan: Not again. We killed you already.

JMF: stephie’s spell apparently worked and she lied to us.

Angel: Her spell didn’t work.

JMF: Yes it did. You were brought back. Therefore, it worked. But you’ll be gone soon enough.

Angel: Her spell didn’t work. I’m not the Angel you know.

JMF looked over to buffyfan.

JMF/buffyfan: Huh?

To be continued...

[Spuffy]

Tales of JMF Vol. 5

Angel: I told you, I’m not the Angel you know.

JMF: So there’s more than one of you?

buffyfan: That’s just wrong.

JMF: I agree.

Angel rolled his eyes and looked at the two.

Angel: Would you let me explain?

JMF looked over to buffyfan.

JMF: Should we let him?

buffyfan: Sure. Why not?

She shrugged then both slayers looked back at Angel.

Angel: Fine. I am Angel, the real Angel. stephie had been trying to get me for years, but I wouldn’t let her. After awhile she realized that she couldn’t win so, she did a spell. She sent me to an alternate reality and brought the Angel from that reality here.

JMF raised an eyebrow. Then Angel looked at her, expecting a comment.

JMF: Oh, I wasn’t going to say anything. Continue.

The vampire did as he was told.

Angel: That Angel was the one you have known all this time. You and I have never even met.

JMF: That’s all very nice, but if this is true, how’d you get back here?

Angel: A spell. My... uh... girlfriend in the other reality does some magic. I asked her to send me here, so I could stop stephie.

JMF and buffyfan began to laugh.

JMF: You have a girlfriend?

buffyfan: She didn’t mean that in an offensive way I’m sure.

JMF: Of course not. I’m never offensive.

Angel: Did I mention she’s also a slayer?

Both of the slayers’ eyes widened.

JMF: She’s a slayer?

buffyfan: But we’re slayers.

JMF looked over to buffyfan.

JMF: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

buffyfan: It could be one of us!

JMF/buffyfan: NOOOOOOOO!

Angel: Don’t you both just sound so happy.

Both of the girls glared at Angel.

Angel: Sorry. Now can we just get stephie and end this once and for all?

JMF: Fine.

buffyfan: Sure. Let’s go.

Angel nodded and they left the alley. Then he sniffed the air.

Angel: She went this way.

He pointed and began to run in that direction.

buffyfan: Okay, why don’t you lead.

She said as she watched Angel run off.

JMF: He is such an idiot.

buffyfan: You don’t know that. You’ve never met him.

JMF: I just did didn’t I?

buffyfan: Well, yeah...

JMF: So I am in the position to say things such as “He is such and idiot.”

JMF explained to the other slayer, then began to run in the direction Angel left.

buffyfan: Hey! Wait up!

The second slayer followed JMF and eventually they both caught up to Angel. He was at an old theater.

Angel: What took you two so long?

JMF: What took you so short?

buffyfan: That doesn’t make sense.

JMF: Oh, shut it.

Angel ignored the two for a moment, and looked at the building.

Angel: She’s in there.

JMF: Then why are we standing out here?

Angel shrugged.

JMF: That’s helpful.

buffyfan walked into the building while the others were talking and looked around. When she saw nothing she walked over to the door and looked at the others.

buffyfan: I don’t see anyth...

She was cut off and pulled backwards then thrown a wall.

stephie: You didn’t see anything? Are you blind?

JMF and Angel ran into the building. Angel ran over to buffyfan and helped her up.

Angel: You okay?

buffyfan gave a weird look to Angel as she stood up.

buffyfan: Yeah, I’m fine. Why are you helping me? Shouldn’t you be getting stephie?

Angel: I was just making sure you were okay.

buffyfan didn’t say anything then ran over to JMF.

JMF: I think you’re his girlfriend.

buffyfan: I am not!

JMF: Sure. That’s why he ran to your side so quickly.

buffyfan tried to ignore her. Angel came over to them and stood next to JMF, rather close.

JMF: Excuse me. Would you mind stepping over, about a mile or so?

Angel looked at her then stepped away a few steps.

Angel: Oh, sorry.

stephie was getting agitated.

stephie: Can we fight already?

JMF: Be my guest.

stephie then charged at JMF, but the slayer moved and stephie ran straight into Angel.

buffyfan: Looks like she got her man.

JMF: Looks like she got YOUR man.

buffyfan: Be quiet!

JMF: I was just saying...

stephie looked down at Angel.

stephie: Why are you helping them? You should be helping me!

Angel shoved stephie off of him.

Angel: Why should I help you? You sent me to an alternate reality! Albeit I did fall in love there, but still. It was wrong!

He stood up and kicked stephie a couple times then went over to the slayers.

Angel: Get her, girls.

Both of the girls looked at him.

buffyfan: What are you, our boss?

JMF: Your boss maybe. Not mine.

Angel: Just do something.

JMF: Why can’t you?

Angel: Uh....

JMF: Thought so.

stephie stood up.

stephie: You will never defeat me! I have the power of bangel on my side!

She began to laugh maniacally, then a bright light showed up behind her.

stephie: NOOOOO!

She screamed as she was sucked into this light, this portal.

buffyfan: Cool.

Angel: We didn’t even get to fight.

JMF: You weren’t going to fight anyway!

Angel: That’s not the point.

JMF was going to say something but instead she looked over at the portal as it disappeared completely, taking stephie with it.

Where the portal used to be, stood a person.

SA: Hey Angel. Hey JMF, buffyfan. I’m Spikes Angel. You can call me SA.

The two slayers looked at each other then back to the other woman.

buffyfan: How do you know our names?

Angel: She’s a friend of mine from the alternate reality. You are both in that reality too, so she knows you.

buffyfan: Oh.

Angel walked over to SA.

Angel: Hey. Where’d you send stephie.

SA: The universe with nothing but shrimp.

Angel: Nice.

SA: I know. Your girl is going to be opening a portal for us to go home any moment now.

Angel: She is? It’ll be good to get back to her.

JMF interrupted the two.

JMF: She isn’t going to open a portal.

Angel: What?

JMF: She isn’t because she already did.

She rolled her eyes and pointed over to where another portal was opening.

SA: Looks like she got you there.

Angel: She always gets me.

JMF raised an eyebrow.

JMF: Whatr’s that supposed to mean?

Angel just looked over at her, then at the portal. A girl began to walk out of it. Because of the bright light, it was hard to tell exactly who she was.

buffyfan: Is that his girlfriend?

SA: Yeah.

buffyan looked at JMF and they watched as Angel hugged his girlfriend.

He walked over to the others with his girlfriend and both of the slayers had a shocked look on there face. buffyfan was the first to speak, well, not speak, laugh.

buffyfan: HA!

JMF: It can’t be! Noooooooo!

Angel: Sorry, JMF, it’s true.

Girlfriend: Wow. You have the same name as me and everything.

JMF: Slammed her head against a wall.

JMF: Why are you dating ME?!?!

JMF2: He loves me, and I love him. I can’t see why you don’t.

JMF: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Angel: I think we should go.

JMF2: Me too.

SA: Me three.

The three of them waved at buffyfan and JMF as they walked through the portal and left. Soon the portal was gone and it was just a laughing buffyfan and a JMF left.

JMF: That’s... that’s just wrong!

buffyfan: Oh, well, I think it’s funny.

Then into the building walked Spike.

Spike: Looks like you all had some fun. What’d I miss?

buffyfan: JMF’s dating Angel.

Spike: What?!?!

JMF: I think I need lie down.

-Fade to black-

[Effulgent]

Ohh man, that was a awesome fic.... I'm glad that I was included... I'm famous now.

[Spuffy]

hehe. You were so great in your SA days that I HAD to include you. Now you're just better than great as Effulgent!

[Effulgent]

I'm glad that I left with Angel and JMF2 I think something was going on between us

Awwww thanks Emily You're so sweet, I'm glad that you're my sister.


(Edited 5 years in the future, because I noticed a spelling mistake )

[Spuffy]

Perhaps there was

I'm glad too!

[Effulgent]

So will you write any more volumes?

[Spuffy]

I'm not sure. I've been thinking about that. Originally I was going to do 10 but I stopped at 5.

[Effulgent]

you should! It'll be fun! you could have James marsters pop in randomly and mention smallville or something like that, and make me a regular fanfic cast member

I see that stephies in that fic! has she read it yet?

[Spuffy]

She read it ages ago when it was originally written and posted on CoA She thought it was a bit funny

[Effulgent]

ohh cool ok!...

wait you posted it on CoA? I don't think I read it there... I think the first Time I read it was on the old Slayerfest.

Meh... oh well, I'm glad that she was ok with it