Post by mybubbles245 on Mar 7, 2006 23:54:24 GMT -5
Title: Casablanca
Rating: PG
Pairing: Buffy/Angel
Notes: Buffy's POV; Set in later Season 5 after the thing with Parker and after Buffy finds out about Riley and visa-versa
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he just has to walk into mine.
With his beautiful brown eyes and his broody furrowed brow he saunters up the street looking like the amazing Angel that he really is. Or is he? I never know, anymore, which Angel I'm getting. The broody one, the angsty one, the mopey one, the sappy one, he has to many sides and I have yet to figure out a single one. He is a mystery I can probably never solve...not that I would even attempt it.
I watch him from the shadows as he walks into the small intimate bar across the street from Revello drive, wondering, just why he chose the bar right next to my house. I walk to the window out front and see him turn to the bar, ordering a whiskey double. Never pegged him for the drinking type... but then again I never pegged him for the leaving type either. Shows how very wrong I was about him.
I don't even want to start with the questions. Why is he back? Why here? Why now? Why did he leave in the first place? Why at all? There are too many questions racing through my mind right now but all I want to do is shove them aside and pay close attention to my Angel himself. I hear the familiar tune playing in the background as I casually slip in and make a bee-line for one of the more concealed spots, dusting the two vamps that were occupying that area with simple yet silent ease. I settle myself back and order a glass of champagne as the waiter who was standing near by approached. The song continued to play, and I silently marveled the fact that it stirred memories in me that I had long since pushed away.
Riley had come into my life not long after the incident with Parker... who was a jerk but still a necessary part in my moving on. Moving away from the torture it had been to still pine away for Angel when I knew he wouldn't come back. But anyways, Riley is a good guy, steady and normal. Ok well not quite poster boy for normal, but he does what I do, slays demons. So that makes him good with me and my friends. Riley had made things so simple between us. So, dare I say it, easy.
With Angel, it was never that way. Our relationship was full of 'we shouldn't love each other', 'we can't ever have a normal life together', and my all time favorite 'you deserve better'. I hated that. I hated the fact that no one really allowed our relationship. They put up with it, yeah, for their own fear of losing limbs our their life all together. I hated the fact that it was deemed 'wrong' to love him. I loved him so completely. But the others couldn't get over the fact that he was a vampire. An en-souled vampire, but still to them that was no more good than a regular vampire.
I remember the night that we made love. It was a sweet surrender. Gentle, passionate, and at the same time erotic and dangerous. We toed the line between pain and pleasure until it was hard to distinguish what was what. Our bodies were one. Our minds, hearts, and souls were one. And I remember how I felt. Something I haven't found in anyone since him. I felt whole.
The 'slayer' in me gave into that feeling that night. And so did the human in me. My friends don't understand the feelings that were present there. They pretended to know, pretended to care, but underneath it all, all they felt was disgust that I could give myself completely to a vampire. And when he lost his soul, I could practically feel the 'I told you so' vibe dripping from every word they said.
Killing Angel had been the hardest thing in the world for me. And sometimes at night, I still create my alternate world in which he and I are still lying in the bed, just then waking up from our passionate night together. Lying next to each other, both souls and bodies still present. But yet, I did kill him. And it hurt so much to run the sword through my beloved Angel and send him straight to hell, along with the object of his resurrection, Acathla.
It was in the following moment when I found the answer I was searching for.
Angel spotted me in the corner of his eye. He looked shocked for a second but dropped the facade as he paid the man behind the bar for his drinks and walked over to where I was sitting. Not a word was spoken as he sat down next to me and pulled me into a deep and surprisingly warm hug. Because vampires? Not so big on the body heat. And I swear for two seconds, I thought my slayer hearing had picked up on the slightest traces of a heartbeat. But I was merely kidding myself. Maybe it was the champagne...
I pulled away from his grasp to see his face shining with silent tears. I traced the outlines of his face with my fingers, remembering every curve, every point. Every bumpy ridge and smooth patch. Its was a small gesture. And a simple one at that. But nonetheless he suddenly placed his hand underneath my chin and gently pushed upwards until I was staring deep into his almost seemingly never ending deep brown eyes.
It seemed like hours of content peace with him holding me into his arms, one hand under my chin and the other holding my hand, the one that wasn't threaded into the hairs on the back of his neck, fingers intertwined. In reality, the bar had started to empty as the same tune still played in my head, whether that song ever actually played or not, I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you, however, is that when he finally dipped his head down to kiss me, lips soft and supple and slightly parted, I realized that I no longer remembered who Riley Finn was. Or Parker Abrams, for that matter. All that mattered was his arms wrapped around my waist and his lips around mine. It was pure heaven.
I decided in that moment, that I didn't care about anything my friends thought, or said. I didn't care about right or wrong, good or evil, fate or destiny. All I cared about in that moment was the pure unconditional love that surrounded the two of us, suffocating and smothering the doubts, worries, history, and the pain until all that was left was the everlasting bliss that one simple kiss brought us.
After what seemed like days, he pulled away from me. And he was the first to speak.
"I'm not going to tell you why I came back. I'm not going to tell you why I left. I am not going to tell you that I want your forgiveness. But what I am going to tell you is this, I love you, and if you give me the chance, I'll never leave you again."
He looked into my eyes once more, and intense as it was, I turned my head away to process what he had just said.
"The soul is permanent, Buffy. Has been for a while. That was my gift that I fought so hard for. Redemption? It all paid off."
I stared up at him, lost in thought, lost in his eyes and his voice, lost in translation for all I cared. I smiled simply at him after a few moments, knowing what my reply to his statement was all along. "Finally." And that was all she wrote.
The bartender looked over to the waiter who had given me my drinks and said motioning to the track that was currently on repeat in the jukebox, "Play it once more." And then motioning to us in the corner, "For the lovers sake."
We just sat there in silence as the song started over again, how many times it played, we couldn't tell you because it is not the song that really matters. What really matters is that I can look up into the beautiful brown eyes and see how I will wake up the next morning. And its exactly what I want to see. Because from his eyes I can tell I won't be alone. What really matters is that we are finally together, not worried about consequences or the right thing anymore. But isn't our being happy the right thing anyways? But what really matters, is what happens next. As I stare into his eyes and allow my hands to rest around his neck I slowly whisper...
"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time."
And he did.
~Fin
Rating: PG
Pairing: Buffy/Angel
Notes: Buffy's POV; Set in later Season 5 after the thing with Parker and after Buffy finds out about Riley and visa-versa
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, he just has to walk into mine.
With his beautiful brown eyes and his broody furrowed brow he saunters up the street looking like the amazing Angel that he really is. Or is he? I never know, anymore, which Angel I'm getting. The broody one, the angsty one, the mopey one, the sappy one, he has to many sides and I have yet to figure out a single one. He is a mystery I can probably never solve...not that I would even attempt it.
I watch him from the shadows as he walks into the small intimate bar across the street from Revello drive, wondering, just why he chose the bar right next to my house. I walk to the window out front and see him turn to the bar, ordering a whiskey double. Never pegged him for the drinking type... but then again I never pegged him for the leaving type either. Shows how very wrong I was about him.
I don't even want to start with the questions. Why is he back? Why here? Why now? Why did he leave in the first place? Why at all? There are too many questions racing through my mind right now but all I want to do is shove them aside and pay close attention to my Angel himself. I hear the familiar tune playing in the background as I casually slip in and make a bee-line for one of the more concealed spots, dusting the two vamps that were occupying that area with simple yet silent ease. I settle myself back and order a glass of champagne as the waiter who was standing near by approached. The song continued to play, and I silently marveled the fact that it stirred memories in me that I had long since pushed away.
You must remember this a kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply
As time goes by
A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply
As time goes by
Riley had come into my life not long after the incident with Parker... who was a jerk but still a necessary part in my moving on. Moving away from the torture it had been to still pine away for Angel when I knew he wouldn't come back. But anyways, Riley is a good guy, steady and normal. Ok well not quite poster boy for normal, but he does what I do, slays demons. So that makes him good with me and my friends. Riley had made things so simple between us. So, dare I say it, easy.
With Angel, it was never that way. Our relationship was full of 'we shouldn't love each other', 'we can't ever have a normal life together', and my all time favorite 'you deserve better'. I hated that. I hated the fact that no one really allowed our relationship. They put up with it, yeah, for their own fear of losing limbs our their life all together. I hated the fact that it was deemed 'wrong' to love him. I loved him so completely. But the others couldn't get over the fact that he was a vampire. An en-souled vampire, but still to them that was no more good than a regular vampire.
And when two lovers woo they still say: "I love you"
On that you can rely no matter what the future brings
As time goes by
On that you can rely no matter what the future brings
As time goes by
I remember the night that we made love. It was a sweet surrender. Gentle, passionate, and at the same time erotic and dangerous. We toed the line between pain and pleasure until it was hard to distinguish what was what. Our bodies were one. Our minds, hearts, and souls were one. And I remember how I felt. Something I haven't found in anyone since him. I felt whole.
The 'slayer' in me gave into that feeling that night. And so did the human in me. My friends don't understand the feelings that were present there. They pretended to know, pretended to care, but underneath it all, all they felt was disgust that I could give myself completely to a vampire. And when he lost his soul, I could practically feel the 'I told you so' vibe dripping from every word they said.
Killing Angel had been the hardest thing in the world for me. And sometimes at night, I still create my alternate world in which he and I are still lying in the bed, just then waking up from our passionate night together. Lying next to each other, both souls and bodies still present. But yet, I did kill him. And it hurt so much to run the sword through my beloved Angel and send him straight to hell, along with the object of his resurrection, Acathla.
Moonlight and love songs, never out of date hearts full of passion, jealousy, and hate
Woman needs man and man must have his mate that no one can deny
Woman needs man and man must have his mate that no one can deny
It was in the following moment when I found the answer I was searching for.
It's still the same old story a fight for love and glory
A case of do or die the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by
A case of do or die the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by
Angel spotted me in the corner of his eye. He looked shocked for a second but dropped the facade as he paid the man behind the bar for his drinks and walked over to where I was sitting. Not a word was spoken as he sat down next to me and pulled me into a deep and surprisingly warm hug. Because vampires? Not so big on the body heat. And I swear for two seconds, I thought my slayer hearing had picked up on the slightest traces of a heartbeat. But I was merely kidding myself. Maybe it was the champagne...
I pulled away from his grasp to see his face shining with silent tears. I traced the outlines of his face with my fingers, remembering every curve, every point. Every bumpy ridge and smooth patch. Its was a small gesture. And a simple one at that. But nonetheless he suddenly placed his hand underneath my chin and gently pushed upwards until I was staring deep into his almost seemingly never ending deep brown eyes.
It seemed like hours of content peace with him holding me into his arms, one hand under my chin and the other holding my hand, the one that wasn't threaded into the hairs on the back of his neck, fingers intertwined. In reality, the bar had started to empty as the same tune still played in my head, whether that song ever actually played or not, I couldn't tell you. What I can tell you, however, is that when he finally dipped his head down to kiss me, lips soft and supple and slightly parted, I realized that I no longer remembered who Riley Finn was. Or Parker Abrams, for that matter. All that mattered was his arms wrapped around my waist and his lips around mine. It was pure heaven.
I decided in that moment, that I didn't care about anything my friends thought, or said. I didn't care about right or wrong, good or evil, fate or destiny. All I cared about in that moment was the pure unconditional love that surrounded the two of us, suffocating and smothering the doubts, worries, history, and the pain until all that was left was the everlasting bliss that one simple kiss brought us.
You must remember this a kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply
As time goes by
A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply
As time goes by
After what seemed like days, he pulled away from me. And he was the first to speak.
"I'm not going to tell you why I came back. I'm not going to tell you why I left. I am not going to tell you that I want your forgiveness. But what I am going to tell you is this, I love you, and if you give me the chance, I'll never leave you again."
He looked into my eyes once more, and intense as it was, I turned my head away to process what he had just said.
"The soul is permanent, Buffy. Has been for a while. That was my gift that I fought so hard for. Redemption? It all paid off."
I stared up at him, lost in thought, lost in his eyes and his voice, lost in translation for all I cared. I smiled simply at him after a few moments, knowing what my reply to his statement was all along. "Finally." And that was all she wrote.
The bartender looked over to the waiter who had given me my drinks and said motioning to the track that was currently on repeat in the jukebox, "Play it once more." And then motioning to us in the corner, "For the lovers sake."
We just sat there in silence as the song started over again, how many times it played, we couldn't tell you because it is not the song that really matters. What really matters is that I can look up into the beautiful brown eyes and see how I will wake up the next morning. And its exactly what I want to see. Because from his eyes I can tell I won't be alone. What really matters is that we are finally together, not worried about consequences or the right thing anymore. But isn't our being happy the right thing anyways? But what really matters, is what happens next. As I stare into his eyes and allow my hands to rest around his neck I slowly whisper...
"Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time."
You must remember this a kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply
As time goes by
A sigh is just a sigh the fundamental things apply
As time goes by
And he did.
~Fin